Junky by William Burroughs

If u ever wondered what it’d be like to do heroin/morphine ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

“Morphine hits the backs of the legs first, then the back of the neck, a spreading wave of relaxation slackening the muscles away from the bones so that you seem to float without outlines, like lying in warm salt water. As this relaxing wave spread through my tissues, I experienced a strong feeling of fear...”

It’s a short book, 100-n-sumthin pages, could probably finish in one day of u aren’t a total spacecase like me.
Sorta reminded me of a less fun version of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.. Bleak asf, dry, gritty recount of being a addict circa the 1940s/50’s.
Drug media (especially from previously/current addict creators) are almost always autobiographical recounts of the highs they've experienced, mythologized through thinly veiled fictional characters (that are almost always stand-ins for themselves). Then the stories length is spent trying to connect such highs to some sort of philosophy that's somehow supposed to explain ambitious topics like human nature and consciousness. Lives up to its title tho — Sorta like listening to a strung out “junky” on the bus ramble about a long boring dream dropping occasional insight and commentary about society errr sumthin like that.

8 fentanyl laced syrettes out of 10. []=[""|""|""])>---

Anna Karenina

First Russian novel I've ever read yipeeeee. I didn’t find the infamous confusing Russian multiple name thing that confusing, but I did have to pull up sparknotes just *a few times* just to keep track of characters relations to each other @_@ .. so many relations and family.. but the names weren’t that hard to keep track of.

I wasn’t sure if to feel bad for Anna but I found myself being generally annoyed at her throughout the book. Pity because she was trapped in a loveless marriage, getting snubbed by society,,, THE END,, and it sucks women were basically confined to marriage or else they’re considered “ruined”,,, but then again she’d make the WORST possible decision at every turn so idk how far my empathy can reach TBH (not far lol). I felt more bad for Karenin than I did Anna at times but he also kinda sucked lol.. At the beginning I saw Vronksy as a “fuck boy” (for lack of a better term lol) but my empathy grew for him near the end.. He genuinely loved Anna.. Tragic how an unchecked burning passion can explode into a raging fire that burns everything to a cinder. I preferred Kitty and Levins love story. Levin just like me fr. I guess the only thing i disliked is how violently jealous both couples got in the end, shits annoying but i guess i can empathize given the circumstances.

Sorta struggling to find things to day about this, if you read it it speaks for itself. Probably the best book I read regarding character development and how “complete” they are. I read parts and listened to segments as an audiobook, and i think thats the best way to consume such a monster of a book.. almost 900 pages..

the ending.. mannn :///

Catch 22 by Joseph Heller

It took me 2 years to finish this book.
Not out of boredom.. I never grew bored of this book.. I don't have a good excuse as to justify my neglect tbh-- just that reading books to completion is difficult for me ദ്ദി ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ ) lol. I have a bad habit of wanting to read 50 books at the same time-- getting overwhelmed, mixed up, forgetting plotlines, and ending up having to re-read each several times--thus never making significant progress in any of the 50 books i read simultaneously .
As someone who had one of their childhood hyper-fixations be WW2 (yeah I was THAT annoying kid), i enjoyed this book. However, its not a detailed account of WWII with historical facts/anecdotes. The story revolves around the eccentric characters on an American air force base in Italy with only *mentions* of Nazis and relevant topics like fascism and the war. It’s more focused military stuff, flying missions and the absurdity of power dynamics within military-bureaucratic commands.
While I didn't find myself rolling on the floor dying as some reviews suggested, id be lying if i said i didn't laugh out loud or smile sometimes. Hadda re-read pages just to process “WTF did I just read” from sheer randomness.. I couldn’t believe my eyes that those are real words someone typed ON A PAGE .. Its entertaining,,though was boring in some parts (early-middle),, but definitely picks up near the middle/end. word choices are satisfying and weirdly poetic given the subject matter being described (take what i say with a grain of salt bc im biased asf and will give anything 10/10 so long as it has pretty words LMAO my reviews suck). The writing style is akin to a stream of consciousness/has run on sentences, Also a convoluted non-linear timeline which takes a min to get used to. I appreciated how most chapters start with descriptions of a characters profile/personality. Usually I struggle to visualize characters but i was able to convey iconic recognizable images in my mind for each that I needn't keep a character log to keep track of them (something i often do to help my adhd brain keep up with books lol).
The story takes a weirdly dark sudden turn at the end.. like one character gets sliced in half by a plane propeller and the pilot (overwhelmed by guilt) kills himself. Another SA/murders a maid AND GETS AWAY WITH IT. Then there's also a lurid gory description of a man bleeding to death while flying a mission.. shits dark i WAS NOT expecting it.
Rating: 4 of Orr’s crab apples out of 5.